Dear Sky Steward,

I was recently flying from Dallas, Texas to Seattle, WA on an MD-80. I was seated in a window seat on the left side which has two seats together. A guy sat next to me and my first indication that I was in for it was that he got on the cell phone and started chatting away at a moderately high volume to his romantic interest. The fun was only just beginning!

During the evening flight; every time I was able to fall asleep, his knee bumped against me as he encroached on my personal space and wake me up. I was furious, but the only clue he seemed to get about how irritated I had become was when I blurted out obscenities when he woke me for the fifth time. I was wearing my headphones so I think I spoke even louder than I was aware of. He turned with a surprised look on his face but I still wonder if he ever truly understood how rude he was being.

Am I expecting too much of other passengers? How could I have handled the situation better?

Signed,

“Spaced Out” from Seattle

Dear Spaced Out,

The Sky Steward knows this situation very well and has tentatively diagnosed this gentleman as having BBSH (Big Ball Syndrome Hypochondria). You may have read about it on this blog before. BBSH is merely a figment of the sufferers imagination; more of a mental disorder directly tied to ego size. Those with the BBSH disorder seem to feel that they must keep legs wide apart to accommodate their non-existent manhood.

We have discovered that most males that actually have BBS do not find it necessary to keep their legs wide open during the flight as they are not trying to prove anything to anyone. Besides it is normally very obvious, especially when someone with BBS is dreaming away during an in-flight nap. (The Sky Steward suggests you keep an eye out for blushing flight attendants as they check seat belt compliance during the flight)

When women become space-invaders (which happens less frequently he has found found) it is normally due to large overall size or just pure cluelessness.

You could handle this situation in the future by clearly stating to a “space invader” that you would appreciate it if they could do their best to stop bumping you as you are a light sleeper who is extremely hard to impress.