When passengers begin trickling into the terminal from a  transcontinental flight, you can bet on spotting at least one recognizable celebrity behind their Foster Grants. If you need some help, just look for all of the people being met by special services personnel or porters at the gate. They look so glamorous as they’re escorted through the concourse at JFK or LAX, but just how enchanting were they during the flight? I’ll share some of my experiences with the stars and pass on some gossip on celebrities behaving badly that  I’ve received from some very reliable sources.

Celebrity In-Flight Faux Pas

So many stars and so little time! Well, I will give you a little taste at a time, starting with:

Pee-Pee Diddy: He was so angry that the flight attendant asked his assistant to have him turn his cell phone off (he himself would not acknowledge the flight attendant) that he decided to get even. After take off, he went into the lavatory and urinated all over the counter and floor and then casually returned to his seat, pretending to go into a deep sleep. Suspicious, the flight attendant opened the lavatory door to discover the hot, wet mess that had been created and immediately woke P. Diddy up  and asked him to finish what he started and clean it all up. P. Diddy did so happily and left the bathroom sparkling à la Joan Crawford.

Martha Stewart Living Screaming: Prior to being incarcerated, Martha Stewart was sentenced to 3 hours of hard flying in coach on a full flight from Miami to JFK. Already infuriated with the agent, she became even more irritated with the crew when asked to remove her carry-on LV bag from the forward closet and place it in an overhead compartment. After take-off she knew things would improve with a nice, cold glass of white wine; but the sky soon came falling down when she was informed that she would have to cough up some cash before sipping some chardonnay! “I’m Martha Stewart, I’ve never had to pay for a glass of wine!” she cried. Her assistant handed the payment and Martha drank herself to sleep.

Jerry Lewis: Is he still considered a celebrity? Well, he thinks he is anyway. “Do you know who I am?” he asked the crew as he boarded the flight from San Juan to Miami. Then once seated in first class with his wife, he asked the stew if his sister could be moved up from coach. Intimidated by Cinderfella himself, the flight attendant walked back to coach and escorted his sister back and into a first class seat.  Upon letting Jerry know that his request had been honored, not even a thank you was given, just a sneer. It took every bit of restraint the flight attendant had to resist the urge move his sister back to 36E.

Some high notes:

Eva Longoria: So sweet! She even came up into the galley to chat with the first class flight attendant. This did not sit well with not-as-famous Lauren Hutton who was feeling the neglect that comes as celebrity fades. She rang her call button each and every time Eva Longoria was being tended to by the flight attendants. Not so desperate for attention; Eva finally said, “Oh, go and get her what she wants before she has a fit”.

Vanessa Williams: On a flight with her son from Miami to LaGuardia. The flight attendants had to tussle with the coach passengers to keep them away from Vanessa during boarding and several times in flight. When it came to the meal service the crew was betting on whether or not Miss America would have a meltdown when offered a cheese pizza for lunch. She gladly chose the pizza over a salad and then spent the rest of the flight watching the movie on an ancient monitor (with a bouncing picture) and didn’t even complain! She even thanked the crew during deplaning.

Britney Spears: On her way back from rehab in the Caribbean, a then bald-headed Britney boarded her flight from Florida to LAX with no money and no cell phone! She  even had to ask the flight attendants for something to eat and even to borrow her cell phone upon landing to call for a ride! Even in this embarrassing situation she took the time to call the flight attendant’s daughter to say “hello, it’s  Britney Spears!”

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