Through the years as I’ve observed passengers while pushing a trolley or flying as a passenger myself, I’ve come to accept that I’ve been given a gift (or should I say a curse) of being able to spot both fantastic and abysmal Jetiquette even through the cabin divider. Unfortunately I cannot turn it off since it is literally a sixth sense. Many times, I have to share my amazement at some of the infractions I witness as my nerves are pushed past the limits of my medication.

I am waiting for someone to say, “Who appointed you the Jetiquette Police?!”, so I thought I should be a bit proactive so I’ve created a Jetiquette Unit! So there; I am in fact the Jetiquette Police! (at least according to me) It seems that no matter what, the topic of travel manners is consistently popping up on blogs and in newspapers as more and more people continue to hog overhead bin space and shove banana peels into seatback pockets on airplanes. Up until now, they’ve pretty much gotten away with it, but those days are coming to an end. I want names!

Each time someone swings their carry on bag into the space meant for your feet, think of it as a crime scene. Pictures and eyewitness accounts are absolutely essential to ensure that the perpetrators are brought to justice. Boarding passes left behind and magazine mailing labels are great ways to obtain this information. (I’m joking!) Or am I?

“If you think Judge Judy is tough, wait until you get a whiff of this!”

I remember in middle school, I used to fantasize about picking out all of the annoying classmates, snapping my fingers and making them disappear. Nowadays that would send up a red “Columbine” flag , but you know what I mean right? Do you ever fantasize about being able to parachute some of your irritating fellow passengers into the Grand Canyon? Make a citizen’s arrest if you must but if you prefer not to take the law into your own hands, turn them over to me.