One of the reasons certain people suffer from anxiety when they must travel by air is simply because they feel a loss of control; asked to follow one instruction after another and in some cases, to put up with unfair treatment from personnel on the ground or in the air. I now know what it is like first hand to be the subject or object of a crewmember’s fury. I’ve been a flight attendant for over 20 years and I have also earned elite status in one particular airline’s frequent flier program, so I am able to see a passenger/crewmember conflict from both perspectives; at least that is what I thought. Nothing could prepare me for the feelings I had as a passenger that was not only misunderstood, but mistreated. I remember that my mother used to tell me, after I misbehaved, that my children would be ten times worse. I think the experience I am about to tell you about is a sure sign that the same principle applies to being a nasty customer service worker. When finally in the position of the customer, paybacks are hell!
Do you deal with the public? Are you fed up with the customers and/or your company? Would you like to be able to feel differently? Well, read my book 
Jetiquette…The Customer Experience and You
I flew as a non-revenue traveler from Barbados to Miami and was given a seat in business class. My seat was in the first row of the 757, just behind the bulkhead. As I waited for departure, I heard a few boarding announcements that sounded pretty snippy. “If you’re standing in the aisle…step in, you’re blocking other passengers”, not “Ladies and gentleman, welcome aboard. We invite you to be comfortably seated. If you’ve reached your row, thank you for stepping in to allow other customers to pass. We appreciate your cooperation….Again, welcome aboard from your flight crew.” Something like that would have really set a nice tone. Later, I was able to come face to face with the lady behind the voice. Rather than think too much about the irritating announcements, I decided to just sit back and have a positive attitude. After all, I was fortunate enough to be seated in Business Class right?
Now is where things really started to go downhill. As we pushed back from the gate, I heard a gentleman seated behind me tell his son that the aircraft next to us was a 747-400. I thought about what a great time it was for me to shoot a little video of the plane with my mini video camera. As I turned the camera on, I heard a voice, “Turn it off!” I looked up and it was a flight attendant that I had not seen until then. She just stared at me with a “come make my day” sort of look. I turned my camera off and I could tell that the look on my face that described my feelings of shock and amazement. Here is the dialogue that ensued:
“Any questions?” she said.
“Sorry, I was just trying to take a video as we push back” I replied.
“Well, it is FAA and you need to watch the safety video. Turn your camera off and watch the video”
Once the video finished, she came over and sat down in the empty seat next to me.
“You rang?” she said with an “I dare you” twist to it.
“I just wanted to talk this out. I am sorry for using the camera, but I hope that we can keep this pleasant”
“Well, I wasn’t the one using a video camera when the safety video is playing. You had a problem with me asking you to turn it off”
And then I went there!
“Well, I just feel it is unnecessary to be borderline confrontational” I dared say
“I am not confrontational, my arms are wide open and there is a smile on my face. It’s an FAA rule!”
“Well, I am an airline employee, so I know both sides and a passenger would feel that it was confrontational.”
“If you’re an employee, put it in writing!” Whatever she meant by that.
She then went to the front of the plane and I could hear her telling the other flight attendants about me. I felt famous! I knew this routine as I had done it myself; a form of CYA if you will, she wanted to warn them that I was trouble. It was also a great way to get them buying in to her version of the story ASAP. She returned a few minutes later and actually began speaking to me with only slightly less than shouting volume.
“Listen, you’re getting written up! I asked you to turn off your camera and you had a problem with it. Now you say I am confrontational!”
I tried to get her to quiet down a little, “could you just lower your voice just a bit?” as I motioned to the business class passengers behind me.
“No, I want them to hear me so that they will see how confrontational I am!” Her judgment was starting to slip and believe me, I’ve been there. However, it was especially enlightening to see it from the passenger’s view.
I decided while she was talking that I would try to talk this into a moment of forgiveness and love, but it was not going to happen. She stormed off as I got in my last “but, but…”
She went into the galley and ranted for a few minutes more about how horrible I was and then recounted word for word all that was said, plus a few embellishments. She’s only human.
As we took off and climbed out over the Caribbean Sea, I just stared out the window in shock. I now understood how quickly things like this get out of hand and that it could have easily turned into one of those situations that make the news. I could have been arrested should this crewmember decide to make a federal case out of it.
As I write this, we’re in flight and I am still sitting in 1E. She just passed by for the fifth time giving me a glance as she goes by. (I have great peripheral vision) Since she was working in coach, I did not have to interact with her anymore.
The flight attendants in first class were excellent and apologized several times for what I had experienced; explaining that this flight attendant operates with a very short fuse. The Purser shared with me that she likes flying her position as the “lead” flight attendant so that she can smooth over situations such as these created by her coworkers and avoid losing customers.
I learned valuable lessons including what it feels like to be on the receiving end of flight attendant anger and that I am still being paid back for all of the attitude I used to throw at passengers myself.
A Quick Self Disclosure: As a part of my shtick as The Sky Steward, I often tell true stories about the period in my career when, as a flight attendant, I began to snap at and/or declare war on those passengers on my flight that committed any random act that for whatever reason disturbed me that day. It was a part of my career that I am not proud of but it is responsible for helping me to recognize one of the most important gifts a customer service career offers and that is the ability to positively influence so many people I come into contact with; whether or not the interactions start off pleasant. It begins with a decision that each and every interaction with a customer will be a pleasant one that will enrich all involved. I will not mention the airline in this story since employees have received instructions that we are not supposed to make public statements about the company. This airline even had me create a video of my journey from “nasty to nice” so that other flight attendants could benefit from what I had learned. It seems like it may be the perfect time to relaunch!
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This kind of interaction can happen in almost any job situation where you have to be in contact with the customer.
My sister-in-law works for an airline as well. While she is not a flight attendant, she works with ticketing and all the aspects of getting the traveler onto the plane.
I am in awe of her ability to be calm and gracious not only in her work, but in her personal life.
She tells me it’s an attitude that she has developed that makes her life so much easier.
Sounds like you have decided the same thing.
I have also worked on both sides of the customer service equation and have been a heavy traveler for years. The thing that puzzles me most is why airline employees are so disproportionately surly? What is it about this particular job? The position of power, the union “job for life” mentatlity? I’m not sure but it seems odd.