I’m a former infantry officer, and I’ve had a number of scary military flights. But when I’m on a civilian flight, I don’t even think about what can go wrong. I have a lot of respect for pilots and aviation, so I just sit back and relax.

I did experience a really horrible landing one time on a commercial plane. People let out audible screams when we hit the runway. When we were getting off the plane, I was walking behind this elderly woman. The captain was in the cockpit door and she looked at him and asked if we crashed or if we landed. I thought it was the funniest thing I ever heard. He didn’t.

But as a military guy, I do find myself scanning the crowd, looking for unusual behavior. Fortunately, I haven’t seen anyone who put me on high alert.

I don’t like to talk to seatmates that much. One time when I was single I was seated next to the current Miss New Hampshire. I thought it was great. I was chatting away, and getting absolutely nowhere with her. So I convinced myself that people just don’t like to talk on a plane.

I am really aware of the attitude of the flight crew, and I like to commend them when they are doing a great job. A few months ago, I saw an attendant cleaning up after passengers as we were exiting. I told her she did her job really well. She gave me a huge smile and said she wished she could hear that more.

My wife and I got into a habit several years ago of handing out gift cards for coffee shops or restaurants to homeless people.

Now I always carry some coffee shop gift cards and give them to people I think have provided great customer service. I’ve given some to people at the airline counter who have spent a lot of time and effort trying to reroute a flight, or even if they just spend an extra few minutes making sure there isn’t a flight that can get me to a place earlier. A $5 or $10 gift card for a cup of coffee and some snacks isn’t going to break me, and it makes someone else feel appreciated. Everyone is in such a hurry, we spend too little time trying to be nice to one another.

I did find a way to amuse myself on a plane.

I graduated from West Point, and built semiconductors for about two years. I love mechanics and figuring out how things work. When the new toilets starting going into planes about five or 10 years ago, I couldn’t believe how much suction they have. So I devised this little experiment where I take the roll of toilet paper off the spinner, hold it above the toilet, leaving some paper hanging down.

When the toilet flushes, it sucks about half a roll off. It’s stupid, I know. But it fascinates me. My colleagues don’t know I do this, but I guess now they will. And in keeping with the spirit of being nice, I always make sure there is another roll available.

By Dave Alberga, as told to Joan Raymond. E-mail: joan.raymond@nytimes.com.

By Dave Alberga, as told to Joan Raymond. E-mail: joan.raymond@nytimes.com.

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